Give a man a fish...

I’ve decided to leave behind all the heavy weight. Abandon it just like that. I mean: who needs that kind of luggage? From this year on…I am going to travel light. Make my trip as comfortable as possible…since I know exactly what comfortable means…to me. I now realize that I don’t have enough strength to carry other people’s problems…And taking such responsibility…has proved too much. So, I won’t be making any more promises I - intent to but - cannot possibly keep. It’s high time I started learning from my mistakes/failures.
So? What does “comfort” mean? It means having my own space which on occasions I may choose to share with significant others. I know I must sound like a selfish person…but being “too” altruistic seems to have affected my inner balance…I guess you cannot forget about yourself completely without forgetting about yourself completely. And then what? The same old search for identity, the same process of re-constructing the self from the myriad pieces the others found unnecessary .One can only carry their own burden. Any attempt of breaking this simple rule would lead to failure. We are only human. Which means that we should allow everybody to make their own choices & learn to deal with their ups and downs. It’s a natural lesson...and an opportunity of growth. People can be taught to fish but you cannot fish for them if they don’t want to. It’s artificial and superficial and temporary.
So…in 2011…my resolution is to be both a giver and a receiver. I desire to nurture and cherish only the healthy relationships which make me feel positive about myself, the future and the world. After all, I only have 365 days to be happy. I cannot afford to waste any resources. Watch out for the new, selective, detached and invulnerable …me!


Song of Myself

So tired of looking for acceptance
So exhausted of searching for approval
So sick of explaining and arguing and pretending
I am almost over.
I contain too many contradictions!
I love and hate and use the same old heart all the time…
No wonder it’s so tired…and old…and useless.
Inside every dream, there’s a promise
If I take away all hope
There will be happiness.
Right now I am just embracing reality,
Its cruelty, its absurdity, its unfairness
Without any remorse...
I probably don’t deserve my life; anyway.
Where are the miracles when you need them?