06.05.2013

Fragranced Memoirs

The shortest route
between reconciling conventions and personal proximity
is now safe,
their aged trespassing – a welcomed contrast
so wonderfully rendered in these new shades of whitish pride.
To you, I’m still surrendering my decency, my gratitude, my whole existence,
like i'm in front of a protective, sanctuous veil;
The cruelty of winters gone
is once again swept and forgotten under the rug of patience
together with the wisdom debris of yesterday.
Apart
we are no longer hunting histories for vanity sculptures,
Suspended above the fingerprints of gods ;
Out of reach lies a thousand abstract possibilities
some of them hidden or accidentally lost,
others only temporarily imagined by the same chance witnesses
invading one’s mind with the persistence of spring,
the global exaggeration of renewal hopes,
their scented, pink symphonies,
with an insistence
which both intimidates and purifies
until the absurd, contradictory, last-minute clues
are objectively psychoanalized.

26.02.2013

Ode to a Forthcoming Spring

Always feeling at the rhythm of life,
running away in anger,
looking back at the speed of a heart-
We breathe in and out our own pulses and impulses
in a flawless flow
Grabbing the wasted chances by their sharp edges
some of them poisoned, others too hard to recognize;
Getting ourselves drunk
on the melted illusions of promised arrivals,
knowing too well they are as fake as a free lunch;
Filling the voids inside with regrets the size of the Andes
Trying to rebuild our own pedestals
Without kneeling down
Burning down ancient altars and ceasing to worship their fallen gods
-those leaving our temple too soon and too early-
Without revealing the meaning of broken prayers and overheard vows,
the lullaby words we forgot and had to secretly improvise
Patching up their mourning silence with patronizing “good-byes”
Why are all signs stating only which roads can’t be taken?
Why is everything a matter of denial these days?
“Haven’t you noticed?”
The hustle and bustle of seasons
Crashes over the crushes we leave behind.
Flashing a synchronized smile in the only mirror before our eyes,
We dissolve our roots to make shining dew sparkle
under the feet of angels and ghosts
And then nest their thirsty wanderings close to their pride;
In the end
we should be mostly afraid of complete healings-
Without a scar map
we’d get lost and delirious for a brand new while.

09.02.2013

Surreal Word Webs

We rarely get second chances. Life plans no mock exams
instead
Our hopes are trapped into rat races
making sure we shall never escape.
Unharmed.
The infinite is a homemade illusion
we are all born and die with
a charming self-loss symphony,
concerted at first, then instantly interrupted
with nothing left either to lose or to win...
When we believe in fairy-tales - we are mere choosers
too foolish to question,
too proud to suspect anything,
too desperate to doubt their impeccable plots,
the wicked gambling of fallen angels,
their repenting grace ’n’ sore scars on their broken wing bones;
Too much togetherness will eventually mistake loneliness
for a better alternative
One which idealizes companionship
but does fail to pursue it
and redefine our must-have moments.
All truths be told, all subtle rhymes revealed,
We are one-dimensional projections
Unraveling the incepted clues to recreate
a less distant space, a more synchronized ordeal.

04.02.2013

Defused

Some burdens are to be inherited
Others
to reveal the strengths in our blood
to defy them against the upcoming losses
of ticker bombs and brand new words
of weakness-
outspoken yet so unheard of;
At birth-
Some cease being threatened by omens
to justify their flawless path.
We all avoid persecuting the irreparable,
and lament about the unthinkable
at funerals.
To enable us to forget and forgive
the minor atrocities of life-
its repulsive, chilling dilemmas,
the shameful failures which we have to un-break,
we stay alive.
Another emotional attack is hereby
selected and deleted
No more history of heartaching to recount.

02.02.2013

3 Secrets to Happiness

Happiness! Don’t we all want to seize it and feel it in our hearts every single day? Then how do we get it? And, equally important: how do we keep it when we have such limited control over our own lives?
My first suggestion is to accept the fact that nobody else was born to make you happy then do everything it takes to create that happiness you and you alone long for and deserve. So turn off your (ridiculous) expectations from others and take charge of it.
The second one is to know from the start that one’s happiness cannot be built on suffering or misery … Consequently, think twice before taking any steps towards your bliss … and ask yourself this question:
”Will it ever become someone else’s grief? ” and, if the answer is “yes”, you must avoid this deceiving path ‘cause sadness really works like a merciless catching disease whose “zero patient” never gets an immunity. On the contrary, he/she remains the most vulnerable… to unbearable pain through shame, remorse and guilt...
Last but not least, however, and the best one, which I’m selfless enough to share with you, is to remain best friends with your past. My advice is to use your own strengths, intuition and opportunities to design and generate a present - beautiful and positive enough - to turn into happy memories when it gets older… Just like Hansel and Gretel, I always leave a trail of” white pebbles “or “bread crumbs” for me to follow when I feel abandoned by the contemporary (world) … On “rainy” days, with disappointments and despair knocking at your door, one is never sad and alone if they have saved enough memories to live on…
Instead of a PS a short warning to make sure you will be both happy and safe: there is only one life(time), one heart for each of us…and no guarantees …so why act like you have your heart insured? Take no risks, my dear ones, only precautions :)…

27.01.2013

Rules are Friends

Some say that “rules are made to be broken”. I believe that they are meant to be understood then followed if we want to prevent ourselves from suffering or hurt the significant others in our lives. To begin with, I am not here to discuss the importance of official laws whose breaking usually leads to a form of legal punishment, instead I will be analyzing the more optional ones, the kind an individual can choose whether to follow or not... Just like many others, I’ve always wondered if there would be more or fewer law abiding citizens on this planet but for the fear of penalties and sentences…
On the one hand, even when they seem insignificant, absurd or even useless, even when nobody around us seems to be obeying them anymore,the unwritten rules, good manners, social conventions and (moral) codes of conduct exist because they simply embody the right thing to do, almost everything it takes to avoid hurting people’s feelings (ours included), making social mistakes, taking unnecessary risks… They represent - without a doubt - a kind of shared human experience - its most valuable wisdom if you ask me - tested and (ap)proved for ages - guiding our present and future choices based on the past lessons even when we were not there when they were taught and we have only inherited their essential conclusions.
On the other hand, I believe that we question and doubt tradition too much and this (modern and fashionable) attitude is harmful. Why can't we just accept the fact that “prevention is better than cure” (since learning the hard way is neither a pleasant nor an effective educational strategy and it belongs to the Middle Ages)? Additionally, we should admit that everyone’s actions and behavior are equally important therefore any protocol has to be observed by all the parties if all of us are to be happy.
Actually, though their absence does not mean chaos or anarchy, just like our guardian angels, rules exist to protect us, to make our lives better, safer, easier… and the longer we refuse to see this, the sadder our world will be. Let’s take punctuality and the act of promising... The dictionary states that being punctual implies “ a strict observance in keeping engagements” and a promise refers to ” a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or guarantees that a particular thing will happen”. Of course, we have all been late and/or unable to keep our word quite a few times since we were born, haven’t we? However, we tend to forget that and remember only the times when someone else kept us waiting or broke their commitment to us and, fortunately, there are no jails or prisons for these offences … but stealing one’s time or ruining one’s plans and dreams sound like serious crimes, don’t they?
In that case, don’t you think that what we all need may be a deeper understanding of rules? And perhaps a friendlier , more grateful attitude towards them from now on…

20.01.2013

Unanswered Prayers


At the end of another decade a new exile
will be lying -obsessive yet humble-
Putting an edge on the morning consolations,
a compulsive enmity, woken once more,
under the somber and sober eyelids
feeding their longing stare
in no direction.
In twos
we confide
our regrets only:
our cheeks and mouths covered up
unable to rationalize the whispering drafts,
the autobiographical tenacity of a misfortunate shelf
always in between,
its noble denial scars -its space,
rented to old, overshadowed masks
turning down reconciliation offers
from angels,
forgiveness promises
from sculptures in disguise
and truces
from prodigal martyrs.
What a ridiculous bloom of anticipation
Since the truth never abandons your guilty eyes!

16.01.2013

First-time Voyages

For every tower, they say,
There’s a knight of cups in shiny armor
Whose legendary visions and personal touches
become more than a written diary;
Some sins are not punishable by death
They are instantly rewarded instead by the living:
the same calming blue heightens the sky limit,
folding the horizon along the dotted lines;
A rainbow - shielding a brand new set of pretend dominoes-
lands heavily on our few true colours
Spotting the bits of coincidence in every hour,
Covering the long- experienced disbelief
between two cowards
looking beyond the obvious,
coming to terms with a changing conspiracy
when it's too dangerous
to bring even flowers,to understand a heart's subtlety-
an unspoilt mainland made more random,
by unrealistic cards featuring fake priorities...
A thirsty departed in the mirage of blaze
will cease reaching for emergency tenderness
and hope for a dissolution of rain;
After self-induced amnesia we are all praying
for total recall
not knowing some recollections are there to holt.

13.01.2013

Linguistically Challenged

Tragically, there are not enough words to describe everything we may think or feel. And, even when words do exist, fearing the effects of some of our potential verbal or non-verbal confessions, everyone learns to “speak” an inner dialect of censorship, a silent language whose vocabulary is too exquisite, too daring or too strong to share with the outside world: unrealistic hopes and dreams, indefinable emotions, feelings, relationships… inexplicable desires, sorrows, regrets...inappropriate affirmations...unconventional statements...All these and more have to live like hostages inside our limited selves since they are born until we die.

It's so difficult to live with them and even more difficult to draw lines all the time ... Still, if our mind cannot give us a full account of all the matters of our heart... I cannot figure out which is more in(de)finite: thinking or feeling?

11.01.2013

Blue Magic



An age of chivalry in a snow-white rose
born of an attainable, noble sublimity
of wandering
not only to escape
or to envision a different view
but to embrace its intuitive inevitability,
like a confined premonition of musical purity,
an emotional appeal to invisible affinities,
challenging the physical limits of a frozen landscape,
restoring the revival of all mutual bonds,
the unrecorded history of inner senses and tangible chords,
Inseparable
Though vibrantly synchronized by shared empathy.

10.01.2013

Instant or Delayed …Gratification?




We have all become so anxious and so restless to get what we want. No matter if it’s something or someone, we want them right away only to discover that the next minute we actually want something or somebody completely different and then…surprise!...we find ourselves discontent again… and again… and again … Everything we want has to be available and, if possible, only one button push away. There’s no patience and, what’s even worse, there is no satisfaction either.

Back in the old days people would wait years and years to get something or someone. And they used to value everything they had obtained through perseverance, hard work and sacrifices. Nowadays, getting has become an individual race and before we know it… we become trapped, stuck on a roller coaster of countless wishes, so numerous and so trivial there’s no wonder they are all meaningless and therefore so easy to replace or throw away… This speedy ride makes it impossible for us to see the truly important aspects of our life.

Still, some people will always prefer quality to quantity. They will have fewer but bigger-size dreams and they will be willing to make efforts, to take time to walk, to stop and notice the infinite universe and its amazing diversity of choices. And, unlike the others, they will know what or who they really want (and deserve) and learn how to ignore the rest…

08.01.2013

Selective Silence



A free earwitness
coming a long way out of the nutshell
Running away for nights
in the opposite direction of wave sounds
unstoppable, undefeatable, untamed
with an exuberance able to either eradicate or exile
any triumph of weakness, any cancellation of pride,
to feel safe. I am surrendering myself
to your calm indifference
implanted by an insecure doubter
too skeptical
to exonerate the vandalism of noise
through absence
for the strength of an invincible tone
a signature visual code
framing the secret turns and returns
overlooking the overheard
before the galloping sundown spreads over
sharing a quiet recollection
of mentally and emotionally mute signs
in a language
deafened by pure choice...
Choosing not to hope
becomes worse than despair sometimes.

06.01.2013

Small Bites of Collective Truths

Today’s food for thought has to do with this self-discovery journey taking us from birthday to something which is supposed to be our life, an amazing result of both circumstances and choice. So, how can we reach our best destination if nothing is mapped for us, when everything is literally possible and very often so unpredictable that it catches us unprepared and so vulnerable?

Each day, we are who we are, we do what we do and we say what we say. We don’t do and don’t say some things. And we have our – most sacred or top secret – reasons to justify them. We may feel things we don’t know anything about. And we sometimes have to admit we cannot control them. We have dreams and most of the time we have to give some of them up in order to move on. We strongly believe in the unseen and the untouchable and we pretend that we cannot see or touch things which are so real instead … We may keep memories alive even when they hurt, even when it’s against their will and our wellbeing…

Then why are we always overanalyzing everything, especially what cannot be changed? I mean, of course we should try to understand what motivates our actions, what causes our decisions but only before our choices are made … As soon as the words have been said and the deeds have been done why would we keep staring back ?! On the contrary, I believe we had better trust our own judgement and our reasons back then and there without too much questioning, explaining and regretting when it's already too late and (too) useless...and accept everything the way it is. For the supreme truth, the ultimate one is we are all unprepared and vulnerable. But we ought to find a little faith inside at least … In the end, we will have to look back and, while checking if there has been a paradox in the ignorant perceptions, ignored realities, individual frailties, shameful cowardice and masochistic options, there will be plenty of time to understand it all.

Including the fact that we cannot be or have everything.

05.01.2013

Conflicted Resolutions

Heavy thoughts raining down
- like racing meteors -
into the prolonged silence of friends,
the mute impatience of foes …
Winding in and out with deliberate imprecision
Interfering with an anxiety
Merely touching the frame of a perfect door;
In front of a melting dawn
We are all
carefree projections of our outer selves
Climbing up like floating whispers
unnurtured
semi-preserved
From another seemingly deceived season,
high above the moonlight shades,
Striving to become more than an early promise
With the morning breeze,
uncovering the foreseeable new day,
sheltering and drying off all evidence,
all the survival tears,
Freezing every single heart beat,
every pulse of the veins,
Reassuring the re-birth of yesterday
-such an old tragedy,such memorable retreat.
I’m only one of those
witnessing some paramount obstacles
falling down,one by one,
for the irreplaceable yet unfairly dismissed
to kneel down and quit.

04.01.2013

:)

A smile … the simplest form of human expression…and yet an almost indecipherable miracle able to convey so much meaning and so many types of emotions! Instant or carefully prepared and rehearsed in the mirror, casual or formal, natural or artificial, superficial or rather deep, real or fake...a smile is a smile and the equivalent of knocking at the entrance to someone’s soul...
Right here, right now...following the suggestion of a virtual friend ... I’m going to write about a certain kind of smiles, the one which comes right from the heart...and is felt and shared with the best intentions in mind... even when it may be hidden behind our utmost fears, disguising our bitterest sorrows, camouflaging our most inextinguishable regrets or covering up irreparable losses including that of hope....A smile like this should be worn neither like a carnival mask, a compulsory uniform which goes with the job nor carried like a fashionable accessory to improve our public image or … a deadly weapon meant for either self-defense or (mass) destruction...On the contrary, a genuine, authentic smile should be revealed like a spiritual extension of our own identity, the embodiment of our purest inner selves, a remarkable result of the symbiotic relationship between body and soul outwardly acting together towards harmony and acceptance.
When we smile, we send the message that we welcome and embrace the one(s) we see. A smile is like a speechless “hello”, “thank you” or “good-bye” which doesn’t necessarily require the presence of another greeting, the most accessible form of kindness, a priceless gift we can all afford to offer anywhere, anytime, regardless of the occasion… A smile is a visible type of magic…. a tangible form of affection, an irresistible invitation to be human, to stay human, reaching out in the darkness of thought and coldness of routine… for something better than a fresh beginning, a spectacular sunrise or an unforgettable first time.
We are people. We dream, we love, we kiss, we smile, we miss, we cry, we are hurt. We smile again. We are human. Before we learn to speak or walk, we learn not only to smile but also how to smile back.

02.01.2013

Unveiled Fragility

Unconditional caring is a permanent choice of mine and …while sharing …I believe we not only reveal but also discover so much about ourselves! Just like when asking yourself truly objective questions you have never asked or you would never ask anybody for the sake of better self-knowledge…and a deeper understanding of your own life.
Lately, I’ve discovered my strongest vulnerability. While others are falling for power or losing control over money or fame… I have a very soft spot for the idea of being really needed. It’s something which gets me almost charmed and it works every time like an unbreakable spell. (…I should have used “drunk” instead of “charmed” but it didn’t feel strong enough…)
The idea of being chosen to be there for someone in need, the thought that somehow I could be helpful to another human being makes my heart melt with gentleness and melancholy, almost immediately dissolve its delicate aspirations into the sweet gratification of this incredible, divine chance . For me, at this point in my life, there is nothing more rewarding than knowing that my presence, my words, sometimes my silence, my approval, my gestures - no matter how temporary - are necessary, that my simple existence can make a difference and be a reason for shared happiness, undeniable hope and mutual joy… I must have already got addicted to this amazing feeling, a kind of spiritual tenderness I would always open myself to…

01.01.2013

A hope to spark in the darkness

They say that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. My 365-day-journey begins with a single destination in mind…even though…at this point I am certain only about where I would not like to arrive when 2013 is history.
One should know just how much I cannot stand loneliness to understand that I’d really hate to be in a place with no people, however real, virtual or...fictional. I’d also resent being anywhere with people who are too judgemental , who live in bitterness and intolerance, with cruelty and indifference.
On the contrary, I’d love to be with people who are not perfect but who challenge one’s mind and heart for a change and end up being loved and appreciated, people who don’t take feelings and sacrifices

for granted, no matter how close or distant they are, people who are not afraid of God but who love Him dearly, people who live their lives with love and hope and compassion and devote their time and attention to others without too many expectations…