Coping with Loss

Loss is a natural part of life. During our short time, we lose many things, people, memories, our health deteriorates, our physical aspect changes. And we find it unbearable to deal with these changes. Instead, we deny them, reject them, refuse to accept them. Somehow change and loss always catch us unprepared. Even in conversation, the real “D-word” is avoided and replaced by departure, divorce, damage, destruction.

We live thinking that loss is a tragedy and change the same but we had better consider the alternative : no alteration, a frozen permanence with no before or after states, an eternity with no becoming, no growth, no lessons learned, no answers, no wisdom gained through experience, no victories. That would be an absurd punishment, an abusive sentence to existential meaninglessness.

In spite of its painful side effects, loss serves us right. It shows us what absence means so that we can appreciate one’s presence when we have the chance. It reminds us that we are not going to be around forever and encourages us to make better choices and set our priorities straight. Change fills the void in our life, gives us a past and a future and subtly teaches us that we are going to die someday. This should be translated into more significant individual purposes, fewer ephemeral amusements, quality rather than quantity options. As a renowned literary critic once said “You have one marble block only: if you use it for a caricature, what else is left for sculpting a Minerva?”

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