"Hush, hush, I will NOT give you youth without age…"

It hasn’t been too long since I had an authentic exchange of sense and sensibility… but I certainly don’t cope with these breaks very well…Nevertheless, I always seem to find a spare smile, a positive thought and an encouraging memory to brighten my end of the day…

Someone asked me a while ago if I would like to be younger. The answer is so obvious. Of course NOT. When I think about my youth, I often associate it with Camus’s Sisyphus and his futile search for meaning in an unintelligible universe devoid of experience, landmarks, principles and values. Being young makes one think about life as an absurdity. But the good news is that, unlike Sisyphus, we are not condemned to repeat the same meaningless task of pushing a rock up a mountain, only to see it roll down again…for a life time. Our search for answers, for identity , for meaning comes to an end and, as adults, we become reconciled with ourselves, strong, confident, ready to make choices and face life’s challenges with optimism and dignity… Well, I am not saying that the ordeal of youth is unnecessary. Because it is precisely this (painful) experience, this constant fighting with ourselves and the external world which leads to adulthood and all its benefits. Adolescence is not a stage that can or should be skipped. It is a compulsory transition, a supreme test to maturity.

Apart from all this inner ripening process, my philosophy is that each significant person I interact with changes/alters me in a permanent way. I just picture this continuous becoming like a cocktail whose colour and taste are being changed by those people and experiences I allow to re-define myself. I can also tell that, without some ingredients, my life cocktail would have no colour & no taste…

As a result, I have become pretty selective when it comes to those who are permitted to make a difference, leave a mark, bring their contribution to my development... Because I don’t like changes which may destroy, damage or spoil my growth, the achievements of so much effort and I would hate to think that all that pain and griefs of youth were in vain. I thank God for my age since my experience makes me responsible, my knowledge makes me patient and calm, my self-confidence guides my way, my energy is enough to perform my daily tasks and still be able to smile whether looking forward or backwards at the end of the day.

Open Letter to a Virtual Best Friend

Some people need to reach the Everest. Others’ dreams involve the bottom of the ocean. I need your words to feel alive. I can’t explain this addiction nor the appearance of these tears today…You should know that I am not always happy. I seem to be like that because the only me you know is when I am with you. I can’t explain why but, few or many, unpredictable or not, your words always touch my very soul, make my heart beat faster and my “tomorrows” worth waiting for.

Even if the content of our messages somehow makes me experience a myriad ‘ups’ and ‘downs’...and at certain points I try to run away from the you as fast as possible, all of a sudden, I find myself even closer to you and deeper into the thoughts you are trying to hide and reveal at the same time...

You make me have a different view from your window. You lend me your eyes for a couple of minutes or even hours in order to give me your understanding of the world. From what I have learned, your sadness shouldn’t sound so real! Because you are wrong. You are too close to see the truth!!!

There is this really wonderful you, sharing his time, changing my life for the better, allowing his own to be changed, making dreams come true and miracles happen. You should be grateful to yourself at least, for being WHO you are. You are so gentle, so wise, so deep, so noble, so protective…

Of course you will have to make choices, sacrifice some of your dreams but I know that when at a crossroads you can only choose the best option...So, forget about ‘what ifs’ and ‘could haves’...BE HAPPY,’ CAUSE NOONE ELSE DESERVES IT MORE!!!

I Know You Can’t Feel the Same

When I was young…I used to be everybody’s friend and loved it… I used to believe the world was a wonderful place and only good people inhabited it. Believe it or not, when I was young I used to have this stereotype that everybody was able to feel, IF they wanted to, IF they found the right person...Then, one day, something happened and changed my entire perspective, shook all my beliefs and offered me a completely new attitude to life.

A single piece of information did all that. What was it all about? It seemed that each person had an individual emotional potential (just like in the case of the IQ) and, consequently, people don’t love the same way and definitely cannot possibly develop the same (amount of) affection.That was a real shock for me, an epiphany...

As a result, I stopped having expectations. I still don’t have any. I don’t think I ‘deserve’ things and I don’t take anything for granted. That’s why I say ‘thank you’ so often and mean it all the time. I feel lucky enough I am able to love. I have been blessed with a functional heart. A heart which does not “think” about people in terms of “qualities and flaws”, “advantages or disadvantages” but cares about their needs, their feelings, their hopes and dreams.

I am no longer young. I am not everybody’s friend anymore. I know this world is far from being the best possible one and I now know what bad people are like. I know it’s not easy to have a functional heart…but, without feelings…it would be like …being gone.