Poetry vs. Calamity

There are two philosophies in my family: one which agrees with the idea that “everything happens for a reason”, that there is an explanation behind each event and situation, no matter how insignificant…and another …which believes that everything happens by accident and the laws of classical logic do not apply to the universe or to life.
I couldn’t possibly accept the fact that we are accidents. That there are no connections and no metaphors . That God is not teaching us lessons. That everything is a coincidence. That each of us is not an equally important jigsaw to complete the larger puzzle called life. That our roles are monological and not dialogical. That people do not get what they deserve. That we are mere chances lacking inspiration. That life has no meaning.


Home is always best...

No matter where we go, there is only one place where we belong.This is where our memories are, where the people we love most are, where the past and the future are ours.

Home is where we don't have to pretend anything, where we are accepted for who we are and loved unconditionally...

We are never lost at home.

Being away from home is like missing your own roots, breathing the wrong air, having your heart cut out for a while...


I am wondering what ”heartsick” is all about hoping that, once I have puzzled out its mystery, I will also manage to cope with the phenomenon behind this word.

Heartsickness is absence, separation, expectation, distance, sorrow, frustration but also hope.We miss someone only if we anticipate the reunion. Only if we still have inside our souls the most vivid emotions and feelings fuelled by the promise of an encounter.

We miss those we (still) love.Those who are supposed to come back.Those we haven’t forgotten yet.Those we haven’t told everything we had to say.

Heartsickness exists to make us understand that our souls do not belong to us only. And , if we weren’t heartsick, we wouldn’t know when we are in love.


random thoughts put together

So, once in a while we are threatened to be evicted from our souls by too many memories taking over every single territory we once owned. Among so many kissed frogs and idealized statues brought to life, how do we recognize who we are looking for when we don’t know who we are looking for? It’s time our hearts stopped worshipping these fake gods...Oh, and...it shouldn't be too hard to be met half way if people were actually coming towards us. Always being expected to walk the extra mile is unfair.It’s time we broke this force of habit and convenience.

My guess is that if springs follow winters and the sun stops the rain...then hopefully happy memories should replace the painful ones...and set our dreams free.


If it’s meant to be…

I have always found the expression “true love” terribly redundant because I cannot imagine love other than true. Also I am not a huge fan of the “Romeo and Juliet” type of love. I don’t believe in doomed lovers, tragic fate, indispensable soap-opera-like manipulation or exquisite schemes involving stabbing oneself and/or poisoning meant to bring two people together.
People are not “fortune’s fools“ when it comes to pursuing their own hearts. My point is that if people share the same affection, they will find a way. And even if they are too weak or too stupid, their feelings will be strong and smart enough to figure out a solution.
On the contrary, when feelings are not mutual, then social status, age, family feuds or cultural differences are likely to step between. To be completely honest, I did play the role of modern Cinderella for a while. Then I realized that if the prince had suddenly changed his mind and didn’t think I was good enough for him, I probably needed to accept the truth and move on, search for my true “other half” … to use another redundancy. Finding it, made me understand that the course of true love always runs smooth and that in the presence of love, assiduous courtship, expensive presents or impressive gestures are not only blasphemous, but also unnecessary. After all, love is meant to “conquer”, not “buy” or “persuade” its followers.


“Oh The Times! Oh The Customs!”

Ends of the year are best times for reflection, for striking a balance of one’s achievements from the most to the least glorious ones. One reexamines and reevaluates, takes a close look at more or less recent events…and if they have enough time…they probably even scrutinize their relationship history in order to recollect, relive and analyze data from a different perspective.
In time, I have noticed that our perception regarding our own past events changes. Feelings are also altered by experience and we realize that everything/everybody is temporary. It has to be like that. Each beginning involves the necessity of an ending. Including those life chapters which may seem to lack definite closure. If we understand that, we are safe.
However, the temptation to take a dive into one’s memory and access one’s most treasured impressions is almost irresistible. Longing for happiness and love even when they are trapped inside the past is justifiable.
Being nostalgic or sentimental is human as long as we choose to continue to live the present because idealizing or obssessing about the past condemns us to bitter sadness which is the equivalent of death. The past is dead. We cannot compare the present and the past because they are impossible to compare. Living both in the past and the present is like trying to be in two different places at once.
And here comes 2011 with its beginnings, its sunrises, its smiles, its emotions and its challenges. They will all become memories. But first they have to be lived to the fullest. What you can do to prevent diseases such as nostalgia is not to leave unsaid words, undone things or unloved people.
Remember : Nothing lasts for ever.

Don’t cross it!

This one is about accepting our boundaries. And acting accordingly. Even when it comes to those thoughts and feelings which can affect only us. One cannot think or care about the entire universe. It’s unrealistic…or crazy to use a more appropriate word.
How do we know where our limits are? Well, if you don’t have good instincts, here’s a clue: if positive thoughts and feelings turn against you like a boomerang, all harmful and destructive, then you have crossed the line!
So, think twice before trespassing not only because being intrusive violates someone’s privacy but also because stepping outside one’s limits means you will have to survive without your principles, your values and your most definitory features. Any attempt to go outside your mind and heart is destined to fail. Just like rules, limits help us remain who we are, they protect us and give us order instead of anarchy.


Me – The Collector

I have a huge collection of movie quotes. Most of them are about love and life. I just find love the ultimate goal in life. Probably because I lacked the certainty of being loved as a child. Probably because I am a libra. Probably because love is the most difficult to achieve. I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that, there are thoughts I completely identified myself with at first sight…thoughts which guided my way and made me be(come) – I think - a better person. Here are my favourite ones:

”It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.”

"I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect, I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and for me, that has always been enough."

”My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah.”

”My darling. I'm waiting for you. How long is the day in the dark? Or a week? The fire is gone, and I'm horribly cold. I really should drag myself outside but then there'd be the sun. I'm afraid I waste the light on the paintings, not writing these words. We die. We die rich with lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we've entered and swum up like rivers. Fears we've hidden in - like this wretched cave. I want all this marked on my body. Where the real countries are. Not boundaries drawn on maps with the names of powerful men. I know you'll come carry me out to the Palace of Winds. That's what I've wanted: to walk in such a place with you. With friends, on an earth without maps. The lamp has gone out and I'm writing in the darkness.”
”There was a moment, when I used to blame everything and everyone for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.” ” Like what?” ”Has anything you've done made your life better?”

”So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”