Void Exposure

Miracles are fate playing mind games on us
Brain parasites feeding on memories
are mistaken prisoners
Taken on a departure lounge;
My past - just a nearby shop window
with no dutyfree hopes
I used to cry only on frozen shoulders
Now I am used to
everyone
knowing how I must feel
how long it will take to be completely healed
It’s like I am having a transparent chest
And didn’t know it.
First times are always betrayed by the seconds,
the thirds don’t even matter in time-
We make daily confessions to the deafening omens,
Those we have sinned against
instigated by pride;
We can embrace those who are already loved
and fail to predict their last hugs!
Surrounded by mirrored walls,
guarded by indifference shields,
chaperoned by tears,
Is it because love is never enough
to synchronize
the pace of a heart?
Or because we are born already blind
and there are no soul mates out there to cure our sight?
I assume we just reinvent ourselves too many times
to the point where we become chameleons
Unrecognizable
Too much brevity, too little bravery
An autobiography of celebrations and commemorations
Like an affection slavery chain
Chewing and swallowing our own words,
their ashes’ ashes - my inner squashed outside
Still missing the recurrent fever
of spring bloom,
the absurdity of my paradoxes,
the breathing rhythmics of a crowded room;
We start a new life every morning.

13 years of missing...

Afraid

I knew to be safe inside you only.
My omniscient past with
Your formal wings, protective, never – flown like
A greedy kernel of complexity.
Caressing the appearance of a rainbow.

Never has death acknowledged any ages
Under the long-witnessing pale-looking moon
You are as young as the abandoned infants.
The whitest of the whitest.
The soonest and my soon.

Inscrutable morality-
A shelter and a coffin of my dreams!
So still and still so worthy of your dormant layers
I HAVE fearED.
The absence of our home is homesick
You’re missing and I’m missing you.
My native fever
My flawless platitude
My sail ...my settle down...my volunteering sunset.