Relative Recipe

Take a few self-made germs of self-doubt
And throw them into the four laid back corners
of a virtually empty yard while still humming
the same tune with the silent photographs
Hanging above the second-hand sofas,
Wandering off the beaten track of tenses past,
Picturing a new knock on the door,
So fertile, that would feel like
One-in-a-lifetime-journey
out of the too experimental, contradiction laboratory
where seeds are born at the right time.
Each new revelation becomes
One-of-a-kind withdrawal of sun warmth and light
from entire generations of faked nobilities
and their pitiful self-pride.
To me, you are less than my predefined existence,
In a rye field with no catchers and no rain!
A mere hostile climate, with no repeatable weather forecasts
as part of an unexplainable, recorded tragedy,
a borrowed life lesson, lacking character and identity.
Without my permanent phobia-
I am becoming more and more sensitive
To the seasonal crops and rethought samples of abstract art
Like a mirror - allergic to tears
and all the pretend signals at the bottom of old, running streams
underground
Now - a long enough way from the top of my lungs -
I’m drowning myself in nostalgia,
Lost and found in my own frozen loyalty maze,
halfway this rented, almost exclusive lifespan,
and its intricate system of lifeless caves.

It’s all about till death will do us apart.

“Oh The Times! Oh The Customs!”

Ends of the year are best times for reflection, for striking a balance of one’s achievements from the most to the least glorious ones. One reexamines and reevaluates, takes a close look at more or less recent events…and if they have enough time…they probably even scrutinize their relationship history in order to recollect, relive and analyze data from a different perspective.
In time, I have noticed that our perception regarding our own past events changes. Feelings are also altered by experience and we realize that everything/everybody is temporary. It has to be like that. Each beginning involves the necessity of an ending. Including those life chapters which may seem to lack definite closure. If we understand that, we are safe.
However, the temptation to take a dive into one’s memory and access one’s most treasured impressions is almost irresistible. Longing for happiness and love even when they are trapped inside the past is justifiable.
Being nostalgic or sentimental is human as long as we choose to continue to live the present because idealizing or obssessing about the past condemns us to bitter sadness which is the equivalent of death. The past is dead. We cannot compare the present and the past because they are impossible to compare. Living both in the past and the present is like trying to be in two different places at once.
And here comes 2011 with its beginnings, its sunrises, its smiles, its emotions and its challenges. They will all become memories. But first they have to be lived to the fullest. What you can do to prevent diseases such as nostalgia is not to leave unsaid words, undone things or unloved people.
Remember : Nothing lasts for ever.