26.07.2010

I Know You Can’t Feel the Same

When I was young…I used to be everybody’s friend and loved it… I used to believe the world was a wonderful place and only good people inhabited it. Believe it or not, when I was young I used to have this stereotype that everybody was able to feel, IF they wanted to, IF they found the right person...Then, one day, something happened and changed my entire perspective, shook all my beliefs and offered me a completely new attitude to life.

A single piece of information did all that. What was it all about? It seemed that each person had an individual emotional potential (just like in the case of the IQ) and, consequently, people don’t love the same way and definitely cannot possibly develop the same (amount of) affection.That was a real shock for me, an epiphany...

As a result, I stopped having expectations. I still don’t have any. I don’t think I ‘deserve’ things and I don’t take anything for granted. That’s why I say ‘thank you’ so often and mean it all the time. I feel lucky enough I am able to love. I have been blessed with a functional heart. A heart which does not “think” about people in terms of “qualities and flaws”, “advantages or disadvantages” but cares about their needs, their feelings, their hopes and dreams.

I am no longer young. I am not everybody’s friend anymore. I know this world is far from being the best possible one and I now know what bad people are like. I know it’s not easy to have a functional heart…but, without feelings…it would be like …being gone.

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